Band Names 2025
It's important to have a couple jokes pre-loaded for any social situation. Landing one about how a phrase or innocuous string of words would make a good band name - or saying it was the name of my band in high school (I was a nervous, nerdy, jock, the contrast typically hits 'em in the ribs) - is a staple I'm carrying to my deathbed and beyond.
The results are fun to think about. Clearly Grotesque Arithmetic is some mathrock shit. Caution! Horses is probably somewhere between post-rock and whatever indy nerd spider bit all the members of Everything Everything. Skeleton Heavy? Dungeon synth? Wizards with guitars1 or something.
You get the idea.
Here's what I got from 2025.
- UNPARALLELLED MYOPIA
- Hardcore antiquing
- Egyptian Ass Rainbow
- Residual Chad
- Slightly thicker milk
- Blueberries & Leather
- Non-binary Military Lesbian Human
- Secret Dominatrix
- Zoboomafooasaurus
- Seams & Dental floss
- Wallow in the smut
- Talk Sexual
- Tendrils akimbo
- Minty Vagina
- Ocular violence
- Moss Taunt
- Corn bone
- Libido Necromancer
- Ninnyhead
- The colloquials
- Grotesque Arithmetic
- Tending to my muffins
- God inducing
- What remains of an old fence
- Caution! Horses
- Eep
- Eepy by proxy
- Polyjamerous
- Sleepy Nonut Delirium
- Skeleton Heavy
Also, in case it needs to be said, I'm not claiming these names. Some of them are probably bands or people that I don't know even know about! So, ya know, play at your own risk.
You know that's going in the 2026 list...↩